The Age Guide: Perspectives on the Aging Journey

Veteran's Voices: Finding Independence and Support at Home

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In this episode we listen in on a conversation with Lance Corporal Frank, a former Marine, who served in Vietnam and now participates in the Veterans Directed Care Program (VDC), which allows Veterans to continue to live in their homes for as long as possible through home and community-based services. Frank shares his personal story and the profound pleasure of remaining at home with his dear friend as his caregiver.  #veteran #caregiving #marines #theageguidepodcast

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SPEAKER_01:

Hello, and welcome to The Age Guide, perspectives on the aging journey. We are here to be your personal age guide and enhance your quality of life on the road ahead. This series, Veterans Voices, will shine a light on the veterans and the services available to them through the Veterans Directed Care Program. This program allows the veterans to continue to live in their homes for as long as possible by receiving home and community-based services. We want to share the unique needs of the heroes in our community who fought for our country and the people who care for them. In this episode, we listen in on a conversation with Lance Corporal Frank, a former Marine who served in Vietnam and now participates in the VDC program. Frank shares his personal story and the profound pleasure of remaining at home with his dear friend as his caregiver. Let's listen in.

SPEAKER_02:

I am here with Frank who has agreed to sit with me today in his home. So you've been in this program for a while so I'm sure you have a lot to share. You've experienced probably a couple of different caregivers while you've been in the program and probably some ups and downs and challenges. And I'm excited to hear about that. And I know that you're a little reluctant to share too much about your military experience, but can you just kind of paint a broad overview of what your military experience was? I understand you were in the Marines.

SPEAKER_03:

I was among the first draftees in Marine Corps history. This was at the height of the Vietnam conflict. So this was 1966. I was just a dumb kid of 19 years old when I was drafted into the Marine Corps, which we didn't know until we reported to the, as it was called, the induction center. As memory serves me, some Marine Corps luminary said, hey, you guys are going to be among you and the proud today because the Marine Corps needs some help, and you're it. So that began our journey. I was in the Marine Corps for two years as the draftee and just very fortunate, very blessed. My actual Vietnam service turned out to be very brief. Following training and relocation, we had a jumping off point, but that never jumped off until almost the end of my tenure. I think I wound up serving about six months in Vietnam. I was not a combat veteran, but had some exposure and saw some things that many of my fellow veterans would certainly be able to expand upon greatly. Some of the woes and trials that they went through and continue to go through in life. So I was and am extremely fortunate that that was not my circumstance. But in that brief tenure, I was ultimately a Lance Corporal, served for the two years, and came home just prior to what became referred to as the Tet Offensive, which I believe was either the end of 1967 or the beginning of 1968. And then upon discharge in early 68, came back home, back into the world as we refer to it, and have continued on from there. Had health issues that subsequently were identified as, unfortunately, referred to today through the VA as presumptive conditions from service and exposure in Vietnam, which I did indeed, most likely, undoubtedly, Agent Orange, which created a host of, and continues to, a host of health-related issues to this day.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. That's quite a challenging youth that you had. You left home and went straight into the military for two years. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

my father wasn't around very long. He passed away at the age of 45. I think I was just coming out of grade school at that time and was 13 years old. Went through high school, and as a high school grad, I had passed collagen But it was a tough time for my widowed mother. Actually, the last two years of my dad's life, he had spent in and out of the hospital. It was just a rough, rough time for her in particular because she stayed at home doing a lot of nursing care for him until his death. Subsequently, when I graduated from high school, I just felt that while the opportunity was there to continue with college, I had passed the entrance exams and was ready to go. I wasn't a particularly studious student. It wasn't my favorite thing. I had the ability to do it, but I was one of these goof-off kind of guys that had the ability to study for the exams the night before and pass the exam the next day. There was a certain degree of cockiness and arrogance that came from that ability or misuse of ability. But I elected not to go through with the college. I knew things had been tough enough for my mother, and I just said, nah, just do something else, go to work, which I did. And of course, with the Vietnam conflict, that work life was very short-lived because as I turned 19, we were snatched up and spent our two years in the military in the Marine Corps.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. So you got to see your mom as a caregiver. And so you really experienced that firsthand as your mom was taking care of your dad. And then it sounds like you sort of took on some of that role as well, feeling like you wanted to take care of your mom after that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, I think that's accurate.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So it's interesting because it sounds like caregiving is kind of in your blood then. And now... you're able to benefit from a program that helps you with some caregiving. So I think that's kind of a neat full circle that you've got in your life. And in hindsight, you can see these things, right, at the time.

SPEAKER_03:

Actually, as you presented to me in those terms, it makes me aware of just, in many ways, have elected to live my life as I continued in the working world and just had a sense of everybody's worth. It was never a situation of looking down on someone. from even lesser circumstances. Never mattered to me about the color of somebody's skin, their origin, their religion. That was sharpened, of course, with the military experience. As I was at 19 years old, as I self-described, just a dumbass kid with a bunch of other kids, as it turns out, and tossed into a whole different world that was scary as all get out. Just a different, different world. perspective on life and its value. And the service helped, once again, sharpen some of that. When you see some of the things that you see, some of the things that you witness, different, different perspective.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Would you like to say a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_03:

Once again, I'm not for the older guys. I'm not John Wayne. I never purported to be or suggest for a second that I have anything to do in that context, but as a 19-year-old, my first day in Vietnam, where we reported to a base as back then, as we referred to it out in the boondocks, this was near a major military installation airbase in Da Nang, and we were well outside of that, but still close. And first day there, our home was in a Quonset hut, which is an aluminum hut, again, Most veterans will be familiar with Quonset huts. But where my bunk was set up was right next to a young man who was just elated because he was scheduled the very next day to be going home. And he was just joyful at that prospect. That evening, the base arrived. was under not full-fledged, full-blown attack, but there were incoming rounds. And us newcomers and the old guys that had been in this hut already, where this was home for a while, we quickly were kissing the floor. And if we could have flattened out like a cat would do and become part of that floor, we would have, because we could hear rounds coming, bouncing around, ricocheting through this area. Quonset Metal Hut, the ping, ping, ping. Well, cutting to the chase, when the proverbial smoke settled and morning came upon us, sunlight started filtering in through the little windows that we had. I looked to the bunk next to me and this young man who was getting ready to go home sat up on his bunk and he looks to his left and which was right near where I was, but much, much closer to him. And there's a great big hole in the wall. And had he been in that bed when that round came in there, that round would have been probably through his body. So he proceeded to go outside, and he actually found the round. And that was his souvenir to take home.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow, that was great that you even got to take a souvenir home, right?

SPEAKER_03:

And that was quite an initiation for me in the real world of Vietnam at that point.

SPEAKER_02:

That was your very first day on the job, so to speak. Very first day on the job,

SPEAKER_03:

yes. Yeah, yeah. And, of course, that's part of the mixture when you're thrown together because we were young guys from all over the country. Black, white, didn't matter. What your race was, what your origin was, just a grab bag stew of people from all over the country, which was interesting in itself, of course. The windmills of your own mind that you may recollect at times and places, and some of it becomes extremely vivid. There's times... There's certain sounds, smells that bring back very, very distinct memories, some of which are, even in my circumstance, not as a combat veteran, but very unpleasant memories of that, even that short-lived time that I spent in Vietnam. I did see some things that, well, I'll just leave it. We saw some things.

SPEAKER_01:

Are you a veteran? Or do you know a veteran that needs assistance at home? We can help with these needs and more through the Veteran Directed Care Program. The VDC program goal is to provide eligible veterans at risk of nursing home placement with the least costly and most beneficial services to meet their healthcare needs. VDC is a consumer-directed program that allows veterans to develop a person-centered service plan that best fits their particular care needs to remain living in their homes and communities as long as possible. VDC is currently offered through the Captain James T. Lovell Federal Health Care Center and Jesse Brown Veteran Administration Medical Center. The veteran needs to be enrolled at the medical center, under the care of a primary care team, have needs for the services, and receive a referral from the primary care team for the VDC program. Contact Age Guide today at 800-528-2000 for more information about veteran-directed care.

SPEAKER_02:

What is your day-to-day life like now? I know you've got some challenges, and you have a really good attitude about how you are trying to look at the bright side of life, and you just are taking things one day at a time, but can you expand on that a little bit?

SPEAKER_03:

It's a personal philosophy that I've, and it may not be a formula by any stretch of the imagination that works for someone else, but I would hope that it does, that it's perhaps. something that might be applicable for someone else. And if that is the case and it can be helpful, it's really very basic, very simple. And that's focus on the things that we can do versus the things that we can't. An example there would be maybe yesterday I could walk, or many yesterdays ago, I could walk several miles without any issue, take my dog for a lengthy hike. And those days are gone. But whatever I'm able to do in today, if it's getting to the end of my driveway. That's a can, and that's where I choose to keep my focus, whether it's that little walk to the end of the driveway or any other function that I perform daily in life, still being able to put my own britches on and brush my teeth and comb my hair and do these things. And if it were less than that, to the extent that I can still do this, that, or the other, it's a can, and that's what's important. Keep pushing. Just keep pushing what the

SPEAKER_02:

can do. That's a great philosophy of life. And it sounds like the Veterans Directed Care Program is kind of perfect for that type of a philosophy. They help veterans in their home to be able to stay at home as long as possible. And you've been able to take advantage of this program. Can you tell me a little bit about how that program has helped you?

SPEAKER_03:

As designed in my personal experience, situation. It has been instrumental in maintaining in a dignified manner the ability for me to continue being where I want to be, which is in my own home, and having the resources available to make that happen. And this has been going on for a while for me, while I have been gratefully a participant in this program. It's just a lifesaver, a life changer, and a part of my everyday life, and I don't take it for granted and have not. It's been a wonderful, wonderful benefit.

SPEAKER_02:

What is the best part of the program, would you say? I

SPEAKER_03:

think the way it's structured is just that ability to be, if you will, your own subcontractor and have the chance to surround yourself with people that you're comfortable with in your own home that you can trust and rely on and depend upon to help you get through each day and to meet the challenges that may be there on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_02:

And how does that work for you specifically? Who do you have as a caregiver?

SPEAKER_03:

Specifically, I have a direct caregiver that is a personal friend and has been for years and years. And as this segment of the program with the direct care became the program helped make it viable by being able to bring this person on board. And she has been with me for years and years, has been a personal friend at the same time, and just fantastic. The requirements that I have today have changed from yesterday so that my direct caregiver is just performing everything from laundry and cleaning and errand running to cooking and being outside the bathroom door if I need her to be while I take a shower and assisting me when I'm at those times when I'm struggling and just quieter moment, just being able to share thoughts, get out, give me a kick in the behind when I needed to keep moving and be motivated to get out there and take that walk and not sulk. or feel sorry for oneself on those down times. So it's the whole package, and it's just something that I just don't take for granted, and I'm extremely grateful every single day. And it wouldn't be there without this program.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, what do you think would have happened at this point if you weren't in this program? Do you think you would have found a way to have a caregiver at home? I

SPEAKER_03:

think possibly one of two things. I'd be in some form of nursing-type facility, or I wouldn't be on this earth at this time. I'd have expired.

SPEAKER_02:

And instead, here you are in your lovely home with all your family pictures surrounding you. And you've got tons of books on your bookshelves and CDs. I see that you like movies. You've got movie posters on the wall around your nice big TV.

SPEAKER_03:

My

SPEAKER_02:

man cave, yes. Hello and welcome to your Medicare Minute.

SPEAKER_01:

We are here with Val Guzman, our Benefit Access Specialist here at Age Guide. Today we have a question from Alice from Will County asking... What is the Senior Health Insurance Program? What does a SHIP counselor even do overall? Where can I even find a SHIP counselor?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's a good question. The Senior Health Insurance Program provides local, in-depth, and objective insurance counseling and assistance to Medicare beneficiaries, their families, and caregivers. So SHIP is a federally funded program. So that means that we don't sell insurance. We don't try to push you into a health plan that you maybe don't want. So we're here SHIP counselors are here to answer your questions and to just help you better understand how Medicare works. We're actually not allowed to make any plan recommendations or recommend one insurance company over the other. We leave those decisions to you. SHIP counselors go through intensive training on Medicare and Medicaid just so we know the ins and outs of the program for you. We're available throughout the state of Illinois and throughout the country. Some states operate their SHIP program under a different name, but Medicare can help you connect with those sites in that program by calling 1-800-Medicare. You can find a list of these SHIP sites on our website, www.ageguide.org, and by calling us at 1-800-528-2000 to get connected with a site that's close to home. I'll be back on the podcast every month to address some of the important Medicare and Medicaid questions that SHIP counselors help with.

SPEAKER_02:

Research after research has shown that people want to stay where they're comfortable, in their own home, in their own community, around the people that they love and care for. None of us really make a plan for life to go into long-term care someday. You know, we all want to be home. Is there anything that you would say to, say, a veteran like yourself who's maybe kind of getting to the point where they're like, I don't know if I can stay in my home much longer? Do you have any advice to give someone? somebody who's just kind of entering this journey of maybe needing a little more support to stay home?

SPEAKER_03:

I would say if you're not familiar with this program, make the necessary contacts, whether it's through the VA, through veterans organizational groups. In this instance, with the program, you also have your state facilities that can help. In this instance, it's, I believe, the Illinois Department of Aging that's partnered with the VA to make this program available. I don't know that it's one of the best kept secrets, but if it is a secret to you, I would say, hey, get out there and investigate. Dig and dig and dig because this is going to keep you where you want to be and give you the help you need to do so. It's just a tremendous program.

SPEAKER_02:

Great. And we'll put some information in the show notes for folks who are interested in contacting somebody to get more information about this. So I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03:

And pardon me, speaking of this, I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge everyone in the context of the time that I have been a part of this program has just been wonderful. If you've got questions, you've got concerns, there's always... your coordinator that's front and center and or other folks affiliated with it that just keep you comfortable, keep you informed. So the help is there.

SPEAKER_02:

Can you tell us a little bit about your caregiver that you have right now? You said she's a really good personal friend and you're so happy that you're able to have her as your caregiver. What's your relationship like with her?

SPEAKER_03:

again, singling out one of the best parts of this program is that ability to bring in folks that you select. And in this case, for me, things just broke completely the right way and her availability being there. Her is a personal friend that I've known for over 15 years. And when she joined me six, I believe seven years ago, In this program, it's just been phenomenal. She's just one of the rare human beings in life that I could probably count on the fingers of one hand to have an individual of her qualities to be with me as she is right now on a daily basis with extended hours because of some of my healthcare needs. But she just does it all, everything from... the housework, to running errands, to cooking, being a drill sergeant at times when I need that kick in the butt to keep going, to share the intimate time of if I'm feeling down in the dumps, to share that cup of coffee. Just the ability with the help of this program to still be here and have been around and continue to be around, to be able to partake in the little growth spurt of my grandson, who's just at a couple of weeks will turn four years old. And without this program, once again, I don't think I'd have been here for any of this. And I still look forward to that upcoming birthday of his and hopefully a few more.

SPEAKER_02:

That is an excellent thing to get up for every day, your grandson. I'm glad you get that experience in your life. Well, it's been wonderful talking with you, Frank. So thank you so much for sharing your story and sharing your heart with us and being open and honest about, you know, your care needs and what your life is like. It was really a joy to talk to you.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for listening to The Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey. We hope you learned something new on this podcast because we all have a stake in promoting a high quality of life for people on their aging journey. Age Guide coordinates and administers many services for older adults in Northeastern Illinois. We serve DuPage, Grundy, Kane, Kankakee, Kendall, Lake, McHenry, and Will Counties. Our specially trained professionals are available to answer questions and connect you with local service providers and resources such as the Family Caregiver Support Program, which provides valuable resources for those who are giving unpaid care to adults 60 plus or to someone with Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder. The program includes caregiver resource centers, respite services, gap-filling services, legal services, caregiver counseling centers, training and education resources, and support groups. If you are interested in these services or want to learn more, go to our website at hguide.org. Call our offices at 630-293 Thank you, and we will see you next time on The Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey.