The Age Guide: Perspectives on the Aging Journey

Veteran's Voices: A Sailor's Log Book

• Age Guide • Season 2 • Episode 4

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Our next series will shine a light on Veterans and the services available to them through the Veterans Directed Care program. This program allows Veterans to continue to live in their homes for as long as possible by receiving home and community-based services. We want to shine a light on the unique needs of the heroes in our community who fought for our country and the people who care for them. In this episode, we interviewed Pat O’Connor, who was on the underwater demolition team in the Navy and his wife, Peggy, who is his caregiver. #podcast #theageguidepodcast #veteran #usnavyveteran

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Nick:

Hello and welcome to The Age Guide, perspectives on the aging journey. We are here to be your personal age guide and enhance your quality of life on the road ahead. We would like to introduce our new podcast series on veterans. Age Guide offers a veterans-directed care program through the Veterans Health Administration program that gives veterans a choice and control over their long-term services and supports. The Veterans Directed Care Program is for people of any age who are enrolled in the Veterans Administration Healthcare System. The goal of the program is to help veterans remain living in their own home and community as long as possible. The program helps participants set goals that are meaningful to them and their individual needs and then connects them to community resources and caregiving services. Everyone wants a choice about their care. In this program, participants can hire their own caregiver, including a friend or family member. Caregivers face health risks, strained family relationships, and workplace challenges, and that adversely affects the veteran they're caring for. So who is caring for the caregivers? The Veterans Directed Care Program can give caregivers a much-needed break. Studies show that if you support the caregiver, It helps improve the outcomes of the care recipient. We want to shine a light on the unique needs of the heroes in our community who fought for this country and the people who care for them. In this episode, we interviewed Pat O'Connor, who was in the Navy, and his wife Peggy, who is his caregiver. Pat and Peggy have both lived lives of service and commitment to country and home. They raised their own children, raised a grandchild, and ran support groups for others in the same situation. Let's listen in as they share their wisdom and experience and talk about the veterans program that makes a difference in their lives.

Gretchen:

All right, we're here today with Peggy and Pat, who are going to share with us a little bit about their experience with the Veterans Independence Program. And Pat, who is retired from the military, is going to share a little bit about his experience as a petty officer in the Navy. So Pat, thank you so much for having me today and for being willing to talk with us. Can you tell us a little bit about what you did in the military? Terri.

Pat:

Well, it was just a very typical military career that I was in the Navy on sea duty, what they call sea duty, for several years. And that consisted of doing amphibious training attached to a unit called UDT-21, which is Underwater Demolition Team 21 training out of Little Creek, Virginia. Wow. So underwater, what kinds of things were you doing? diving primarily, and also exercising. Were you ever deployed overseas? Yes. The whole three years that I was active duty was deployment.

Gretchen:

And in active duty, you were doing all the

Pat:

underwater? It was sea duty.

Gretchen:

Sea duty. Okay. All right. Where were you stationed then?

Pat:

Well, on board a ship. that was designated for amphibious personnel called the USS Carpalade APD-136 for amphibious personnel destroyer.

Gretchen:

Oh, okay. That sounds quite interesting. Did you know when you entered the military that you wanted to do something underwater or something? No, I

Pat:

did not. I went into the military and was recruited by Lieutenant Commander Richard Marchenko, who commanded SEAL Team 6.

Gretchen:

Okay, and he thought you'd be good at doing the diving, huh? What do you think he saw in you that made him think he wanted you on his team?

Pat:

We were running, training, exercising, and picking up divers with one of our landing craft, our boats. And I was coxing, bow coxing on the boat with... Commander Marchenko, and we were conversing under the training mission and everything. I described to him that when I was just out of high school in Chicago, I worked for the Park District and was a lifeguard. He said, so you're a good swimmer and, you know, strong swimmer and everything. Why don't you join us over here and train with us? Joined the SEAL unit, training unit, UDT unit.

Gretchen:

Nice. So some of your background in Chicago as a young kid helped you out when you got into the military. Yes. That's awesome. So you have a T-shirt on that has a frog on it, I notice. What is

Pat:

that? It is. The frog was the logo of UDT logo and we were called Frogmen.

Gretchen:

Oh, okay. Frogmen because you were in the water all the time.

Pat:

Either that or, as I mentioned, it might be because of my looks.

Gretchen:

Ah, okay. So how long did you serve in the military?

Pat:

I was three years active with the Navy. And after that, I left the Navy. I went back to school, to college. And in college, I picked up a recruitment job that the Air Force did. Air National, Illinois Air National Guard needed an operations technician. I thought at the time, like a part, at least a part-time job while I was Going to

Gretchen:

college. So you continued working for the military even while you were in college. Oh,

Pat:

okay. And at that time, I met my girl here, my girlfriend,

Gretchen:

Peggy. Oh, okay. You met Peggy when you were... When we got married, yes. Okay, excellent. So were you back in Illinois at that point? Yes. Okay. All right, you were at an Air Force base when you were working as a recruiter?

Pat:

It was actually the working out of O'Hare Airport at the time. Oh,

Gretchen:

okay. Okay, so that's where you were based out of when you came back. What was your favorite part of being in the Navy and doing your diving? What was your favorite thing about that?

Pat:

My favorite was the recreation time after work. All right. going on with the boys and having a couple of drinks.

Gretchen:

Were you stuck out in the water on a boat

Pat:

sometimes, though? No, no. It was primarily on board ship until we had a mission to accomplish.

Gretchen:

Okay.

Pat:

And then if we had to dive, we'd go. Okay, and then

Gretchen:

you would dock and you could go on land and you could have some time off.

Pat:

Yeah, we might travel to a different place Location. Like many of the locations we worked in was down in the Caribbean and in a little island called Roosevelt Roads. We used to nickname it Rosie Roads.

Gretchen:

Oh, is that in the Caribbean too? Mm-hmm. Okay. So you must have gotten to see a lot of that part of the world.

Pat:

Yeah. We also traveled into the Mediterranean and did... combined exercises with some UDT and special forces from Italy, Turkey. Wow. And in the Mediterranean area. Okay. And then, of course, traveled throughout Europe in the Mediterranean. Mediterranean area.

Gretchen:

Oh, okay. So that's why your downtime was so great, because you got to go to all kinds of different ports and see different countries. Oh, yes. Okay.

Pat:

Oh, yes. Yes, I marvel at my active duty naval experiences. It was quite educational. I got to see Rome... Italy and had an audience when I traveled to Rome with the Pope at the time.

Gretchen:

You had an audience with the Pope?

Pat:

Yes, I

Gretchen:

did. Wow. Yeah, those are some

Pat:

great experiences. Actually, we were doing exercises in Anzio, Italy at the time, and we took the time off to... Myself and several fellas, we took a taxi from Anzio, Italy to Rome just so we could see, you know, historically see Rome.

Gretchen:

And the Papal Palace and all that. How exciting. And you were just a young man at that time, right? Yes. Yes, getting to

Pat:

have all these experiences. Yes. But it was, as I say, it was quite educational. I certainly appreciated the service and the time.

Gretchen:

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it was also quite challenging. You were in, you know, a real specialized area. That must have been a really tough job at the same time.

Pat:

It's something you have to do. You get up in the morning and that's your job. That's what you have to do. It's...

Gretchen:

Yeah,

Pat:

you did what you had to do. And you accomplished what needs to be done.

Gretchen:

Yeah, yeah. What's going on? Any particular stories that you'd like to share with us about your time in the military?

Pat:

Only one. I met quite an attractive young lady in the Mediterranean when we were... Dropped anchor in a little area called Villa France in France.

Gretchen:

Okay.

Pat:

Villa France is a little village just outside Monte Carlo. When we pulled in and dropped anchor, and this young lady turned out to be Jane Fonda. Really? And she told us who she was and so on. We said, oh yeah, sure. I heard that story before. Right, you

Gretchen:

didn't believe

Pat:

her. I'd been to that movie before. And she's, no, no, no, come on over for dinner tonight and meet my dad. So we took one of our small boats over to the beach area and landed and walked around and said, okay, well it's She told us what villa it was, and this maid answered the door. The maid said, well, come on in. We've been expecting you. And I thought, well, this is a little scary here.

Gretchen:

You didn't know what

Pat:

she was getting into. She showed us in and... Showed us to the dining room in the villa.

Gretchen:

You still weren't sure if you could believe it.

Pat:

Yeah, yeah, just like, am I in the right place? Neat, and you got to have dinner with them? And we had a very nice dinner together.

Gretchen:

Wow, what did you talk about with Henry and Jane Fonda?

Pat:

It was good food.

Gretchen:

Yeah, and they were happy

Pat:

to have it. Will you shut up and eat?

Gretchen:

And they were happy to entertain some U.S. military men, I'm sure. Oh, that's really a neat story. What a life experience, huh?

Nick:

The Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey, reached a new milestone. 1,000 listens across all streaming platforms. We would like to thank our loyal listeners. Without you, we could not have reached this milestone. This is a great achievement and we appreciate each of you joining us on this journey. A little over a year ago, we set to put a face on aging and share the stories of older adults and advocates. We didn't know where this journey would take us, and we were surprised and warmed by the stories of these amazing guests we interviewed along the way. They shared tears, laughter, triumphs, and challenges. So many unique yet universal experiences we can all relate to. When we set out to provide a glimpse into the struggles and joys of aging, we had no idea how the stories and lived experiences of our guests would impact listeners, dispelling myths and combating ageism. Thank you. to other topics that affect older adults. Along the way, we heard about lost prosthetic limbs, a clandestine hamburger, the healing power of music, a bubble gum solution to tonsillectomies and a dog who predicts seizures. Through all of these stories, we found messages of hope, tenacity and the power of connection. If this sounds inspiring, we invite you to join us on this journey. and subscribe to The Age Guide on your favorite streaming platform.

Gretchen:

So, Peggy, we'd like for you to share a little bit, too, about, you know, your experience living with a military veteran. You guys met after his service, but he was still working for the military when you met, I understand, right? Yes. And you guys have had a full and rich life together. I understand you've raised kids and you've raised some grandchildren. Do you want to tell us a little bit about your experience as a caregiver from the perspective of being a grandparent and a spouse and caring for grandkids and caring for your husband? My

Peggy:

grandmother had a great effect on me and family was most important and I cried my eyes out when she passed because she gave me so much to mature on and she just had a way about her She used to, when I was little, she would come and we had this big racking chair. And when she'd come home from work, I always said that the racking chair was big enough for a grandma and a little kid. I was on, it wasn't my program, but I was on the board at Age Guide. And I wrote a book about grandparents raising grandchildren. For about a year I did research and all the states and said, because I was trying to get attention to the problems of grandparents raising grandchildren. And usually it was because the parents their children, the biological mothers, They were dog addicts and just didn't want to be responsible.

Gretchen:

Challenging lives and weren't able to take care of their kids. And grandparents step in and then grandparents are trying to be retired and they're taking care of little kids again. So that can be very challenging. But you guys stepped in and really filled a gap for some of your own grandchildren. He

Peggy:

is extremely smart. He is very caring.

Pat:

Very caring young man.

Peggy:

And he's been a joy.

Gretchen:

Wonderful.

Peggy:

We're very proud of him.

Gretchen:

Good.

Peggy:

And he's always there for us. And I don't know how much more I can say. I think he, he's done some writing.

Gretchen:

Okay, he's

Peggy:

an author too. He, he's a very good people person.

Gretchen:

Excellent.

Peggy:

He's very respectful of other people. And we're quite proud.

Gretchen:

Excellent. What a neat relationship you have with him. And he's still part of your life. And he's here for you now, just like you were there for him when he needed you. And, and your kids were all grown and out of the house when you you took him in.

Peggy:

Yes. Okay. Yes. She passed away when he was about a year. Oh,

Gretchen:

he

Peggy:

was very little. Yeah. Yeah. But we did try to keep, she was getting therapy, which made her sometimes confused in that. But we always tried to have her hold him.

Gretchen:

Keep her involved with him as much as possible. Yeah, I'm sure that was very important too. The grandparents' role is just so significant And when the parents aren't able to be around and grandparents step in and fill that gap. Did you get any supports or services as a grandparent through like the grandparents raising grandchildren program? Respite care or... No. No.

Peggy:

No, never respite. Support groups. And he kept us running in his teen years. I bet.

Gretchen:

And support groups. You kind of helped to run some of those support groups, it sounds like. Yeah. Yeah, that age guide offered. And you were leading some of those groups for other grandparents. Oh, okay. What a neat opportunity. Well, thank you so much for talking with us and for this time that you took to share

Pat:

about your life. It's been our pleasure.

Peggy:

I have to... And with that, our son and our daughter have kept us going.

Gretchen:

Oh, that's wonderful.

Peggy:

And they let us know when they think we're wrong. Of course, as kids will do, right?

Gretchen:

Well, thank you so much. It was a pleasure talking with you.

Nick:

Thank you for listening to The Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey. We hope you learned something new on this podcast because we all have a stake in promoting a high quality of life for people on their aging journey. Age Guide coordinates and administers many services for older adults in Northeastern Illinois. We serve DuPage, Grundy, Kane, Kankakee, Kendall, Lake, McHenry, and Will Counties. Our specially trained professionals are available to answer questions and connect you with local service providers and resources such as the Family Caregiver Support Program, which provides valuable resources for those who are giving unpaid care to adults 60 plus or to someone with Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder. The program includes caregiver resource centers, respite services, gap filling services, legal services, caregiver counseling centers, training and education resources, and support groups. If you are interested in these services or want to learn more, go to our website at hguide.org. Call our offices at 630-293-5990. Please follow our podcasts so when we post our monthly podcast, you are notified on your streaming account. Thank you, and we will see you next time on the Age Guide, Perspectives on the Aging Journey.